Middlebury's Best Week Ever?

Author: Tess Russell

To generations of kids reared on classic comedies like "Animal House," "Revenge of the Nerds" and, more recently, "Old School" and "Van Wilder," leaving the nest holds admittedly false promises of decadence. Indeed, the cultural mainstream seems to portray the university years, which may number anywhere from four to seven - John "Bluto" Blutarsky and Mr. Wilder were certainly not concerned with the timely awarding of their B.A. degrees - as an extended technicolor montage produced by Joe Francis and starring limitless reserves of boisterous, preternaturally attractive, unapologetically promiscuous coeds.

Here at Middlebury, though, the proverbial shine is off more than Ross Dining Hall's far-from-local apples. Just ask the recently arrived Class of 2012 - we are willing to bet that, after those first few sexy nights at the Bunker, they wised up and realized, like the rest of us, that the hottest parties on campus actually take place in our beds. (No, not one night stands - we are referring to those rare occasions when we have time to"throw down" a quick nap between classes.)

Make no mistake: we understand how privileged we are to pursue such challenging coursework under the guidance of a superb faculty like Middlebury's, and we appreciate the wealth of enriching extracurricular and service-oriented opportunities available through the College. Still, every once in a while, it is nice to enjoy a decidedly unintellectual three-day school week capped off with a Homecoming celebration, if only so we can temporarily make believe that we exist in that mythical Shangri-La evoked by National Lampoon, where collegiate life consists of constant booze, constant sex, and zero work (instead of just constant booze, occasional sex, and occasional work).

FALL BREAK
On our precious few days of vacation, Middlebury students took trips everywhere from New York to ... Wait, did anyone not go to New York? All kidding aside, we were grateful to have a chance to lose ourselves in the increasingly beautiful fall foliage and uncharacteristically warm weather, which too often go unnoticed during our daily scrambling, and to take advantage of other luxuries unique to the outside world. Yes, you may have arrived back on campus completely unprepared for your midterms later in the week, but come on ­- those 12 hours of TiVo recordings were not going to watch themselves.

HOMECOMING
Choose your poison - between a lively bar scene, great parties off campus, the Tent Formal and DKE House, the College community really stepped it up this week and offered something for everyone. First prize in our book goes, hands down, to Saturday's massive tailgate, which allowed us to: mingle with alums, indulge our penchant for daytime revelry guilt-free, satisfiy our every craving with huge spreads of food and drink, and believe, if only for a minute, that we go to a "real" college. Just do not ask us what happened in any of the games.