The D-Spot

Author: Dina Magaril

I spent this past weekend surrounded by beautiful, intelligent and driven women - the fact that they happen to be my closest friends is just an added bonus. Yet, on any given night, rather than being whisked away to Black Sheep by one of their many suitors or having their mailboxes flooded with love letters, you can find them drinking wine while discussing art, politics and their love lives, or lack thereof. Still, I would prefer to spend time with these marvelous ladies on any given night than engage in most of the other options out there, like the cheap beer and drunken fiascos involving drunken boys that used to categorize my life here.

But as someone who visited me from out of town so accurately pointed out, there isn't anything wrong with Middlebury girls ­- rather, it's the world of Middlebury and its males that are totally backwards.

The women here are gorgeous, independent and many are dare-I-say brilliant, while the selection of guys we have to choose from are schleppy, cocky, and think they have much more game than they actually do. The boys on this campus, and I say boys because they have a long way to go before they become men, have no idea what a woman wants, what she needs or how to give it to her. We shouldn't have to choose between Mr. Bad in Bed, Mr. Mind Games and Mr. Can't Make Up His Mind. To make matter worse, it is way too easy for Middlebury males to never have to change their ways. They mess up, we forgive them, they cheat, we take them back, they're selfish, we make sacrifices. If these boys ever want to become men they need to step it up.

Luckily, there do exist correct and even appreciated ways to court on campus, as well as some practices to stay away from. You just have to pay attention and exert some effort.

Don't: Send her a late night text message luring her to your bedroom.

Do: Date. For dating's sake. This means not expecting a girl to sleep with you just because you shelled out 50 bucks for dinner, but getting to know her through conversation and shared interests.

Don't: Ask out/kiss/sleep with her friend but then decide you really like her instead. We understand there are limited resources, but have some decency and keep it in your pants.

Do: Get to know her friends platonically. If you're in with the posse, you're in.

Don't: Play mind games. If you like a girl, tell her. Don't call and email every day and then say you just want to be friends when clearly, you just want to sleep with her.

Do: Be honest with yourself. Figure out what you want before you rush out to get it. If you're not serious and she is serious or vice versa, you're wasting both your time.

Don't: Profess your love/hook up with someone and then tell her you have a girlfriend.

Do: Break up with said girlfriend if you want to start seeing someone new. Common courtesy, boys, come on.

Don't: Tell a girl you're into her, may even love her, but aren't enough of man to be with her.

Do: Become enough of a man to be with her. We know you have it in you, just try.

So next time you boys start wondering why you're not getting as much ass as you used to, I hope you'll look deep inside and realize that it is you who are the problem, not us. Please try to work on that.