The Ethicist

Author: Amanda Greene

Parents' Weekend is just around the corner. The real world is coming to Middlebury! Students will (most likely) be unnerved by the juxtaposition of their two worlds coming together and images of parents sitting on twin extra long beds will arouse smiles and anxiety. The introduction of parents to a "college no parents" environment is, not surprisingly, accompanied by a variety of issues.

For instance: Is it time to hide the alcohol? Will Mom and Dad realize that Bill and Lucy are sleeping together? Is it ok to take Sarah and not Karen out to dinner, even though Karen is your roommate? Will the new beer pong table fit in the closet?

Newsflash: Parents most likely know a lot more about what is going on than you expect. Remember, they were young once too. Parents' Weekend is designed so that students can show adults a glimpse of their lives and should not make students feel that they need to hide substances in closets, or under beds, in order to paint an idyllic picture of their lifestyle and values.

That said, if you know a particular subject is likely to upset parents, steer away from full disclosure which is not necessary or required. College students, as emerging adults, are afforded discretion. If you don't feel comfortable sharing something, don't share. Parent-child privacy thrives in a college environment.

So, Parents' Weekend can be spent addressing sex and drugs and rock and roll or it can be spent picking apples, watching the sunset and discussing the upcoming election. Both activities offer parents a window into college life and explore issues that are minds of Middlebury College students.Ultimately, college is about growth and autonomy and Parents' Weekend need not be a source of stress or anxiety when the dining hall is serving spectacular food and panther cookies.

And now for this week's question:

Q: Recently, I was wandering to Armstrong Library and stumbled upon the study abroad fair in the Great Hall. I'm a Senior, so the fair was not targeting me, but it intrigued me nonetheless. I went from booth to booth pretending that I was interested in the programs and pocketed as many pens, compasses and notebooks as I could. I had no intention of enrolling in a study abroad program. Were my actions unethical?

- Proud-Pilferer

A: Your actions were unethical, not because you acquired free pens but because you intentionally misrepresented your circumstances in order to acquire the writing instruments. There is nothing wrong with you pocketing study abroad materials because the study abroad providers come to Middlebury with the intention of selling a service. The study abroad companies hope that you will tell your younger friends about such opportunities and consider their mission a success if they increase their name recognition and get individuals to discuss the merits of a particular program. In this situation, you should not have introduced yourself as a potential applicant, but rather should have presented yourself as a curious college student. I'm sure the companies would have been willing to give you (lots and lots!) of branded pens.

Want to consult the ethicist? Send submissions to amgreene@middlebury.edu.