Notes from the Desk Registering for life on Bannerweb

Author: Angela Evancie

PROFESSION

Tom: Hey man, any idea what you want to be next fall?

Oscar: Yeah, I was thinking either a neonatal surgeon or an archeologist.

Tom: Wow, cool. How many spots for archeologists?

Oscar: Only ten, so I'll have to get up pretty early to put my name in. How about you?

Tom: Well, I've only been working part-time lately, so I need to get an extra job so I can retire on time.

Oscar: Sucks.

Tom: Yeah. I was thinking lawyer, and then something easy for my second job, like journalist or something.

Oscar: Cool, man. Good luck with that.

PROPERTY

Ellen: Hey Betsy, did you register for real estate yet?

Betsy: Oh my God, Ellen, I slept in this morning and got totally screwed over. I have to move to Detroit!

Ellen: Are you serious? I was hoping you would be my neighbor in Aspen. Sarah, Nick, Ruby and I got a 100-acre block together, and we each have our own chalets.

Betsy: Oh, well isn't this just my luck? Every single year I get a bad credit rating! If I have to live in a deindustrialized city one more time…

Ellen: It'll work out, Betsy. Doesn't the buy/sell period start in like a week?

Betsy: Yeah, I already e-mailed a few landlords. I'm actually on the waitlist for a loft in Brooklyn, so we'll see how that goes.

Ellen: Whoops, I'm late for my flight! We're all heading out to Aspen to see if the people living there now are going to leave their helicopter when they leave. Can't wait to try heliskiing!

FAMILY

Phoebe: Oh, hey Mark!

Mark: Phoebe, hi, you look great!

Phoebe: So, have you registered for a wife yet?

Mark: No, not yet. I've been surfing middkid.com for girlfriend evals.

Phoebe: Oh, no! I hope you didn't see what Brian wrote about me.

Mark: You mean the whole "I got more whipped than I thought I would" thing? Nah, I figured he was just bitter.

Phoebe: Haha, yeah… So, um, what kind of family are you looking for?

Mark: You know, the usual: two kids, one of them adopted, preferably a musical wife. I can't play a note to save my life, but my dream is to have my kids perform on that NPR Sunday classical music show, you know the one?

Phoebe: Yes, Mark, yes! The truth is I love you and I've got a great trust fund. And sure, I can play some Pachelbel's! What do you say we just apply for a marriage license, right here, right now?

Mark: Sure, why not? Let me just sign on to Banner…