Lupo Fiasco Tantalizing, tight-wearing tushes

Author: Kate Lupo

Professor of American Studies Kit Wilson, most amazing teacher of the American studies course "American Landscape," shared a wonderful story with his students this week. On vacation in Florence some years ago, Wilson and his wife visited Michelangelo's "David" in the Galleria Dell'Accademia. After viewing "David" from the front, Wilson and his wife chose to sit down on a vacant bench behind the majestic statue. Seated on the bench, Professor Wilson had a full view of "David"'s "impressive buns" (the AMST class erupts in laugher). Later on, two elderly English women sat down next to Wilson. One of the doddering old ladies looked at the statue's backside and exclaimed "What a tush!"

"What a tush!" is a phrase I say to myself almost every day at Middlebury College. In the library, in the dining halls and in the dorms, women at Middlebury just love wearing tights - those wonderfully comfortable spandex pants that hug every curve and ripple of the female form. I am simply fascinated by the "tights phenomenon" and how it fits into the physical and sexual health of the student body. Here are the different ways tights are worn during the harrowing months of a Middlebury winter.

1. "I didn't have time to change after the gym" spandex tights. Girls often glide into the dining halls after successful sessions in the gym. Their faces slightly pink, these women either truly don't have time to change into normal clothes after workouts, or they are secretly thrilled that boys can see their perfectly toned quads through the tight-fitting spandex they choose to wear. From the sidelines, the male species can lazily observe these beautifully sculpted female specimens on display and choose potential mates.

2. "I am cutely dressed in spandex and cuddly sweatshirt, please hug me" tights. The intense spandex-gym girls often transform into the library cuddly-spandex girls who wear their tights beneath oversized sweatshirts. Some sweatshirts completely cover the female derri