Let's talk about sex, babies

Author: Veracity Butcher

We are in the time of spring sunlight and bare legs. Sex is in the air. You like it, you love it, you want some more of it. Whether you are having good sex or wish you were having good sex, there is a decorum to the deed. Gay or straight, single or taken, a certain level of respect is not only implied in sharing your body with someone; it is also vital in your quest for good sex. And let's face it: no one wants to leave a session feeling like poop.

Everyone has different sexpectations, but being considerate goes a long way. One of the most difficult parts of sex to navigate does not relate to the act itself, but the communication afterwards. If you've exchanged numbers with your partner, the temptation to booty call can get the better of you. That's okay. But even if you're in a steady relationship, dropping into your partner's room unexpectedly and sexpecting is uncool. Yes, I said uncool. Your lover's space and time should never be taken for granted, even if they genuinely would love to spend every waking moment with you. The last thing you want is to come off overbearing or clingy.

Let's say you're not into a steady thing. Making that clear to who you're sleeping with is so very considerate, and it doesn't necessarily mean that they won't sleep with you. You definitely don't want to come right out and say "I'm just not that into you," but you can avoid exchanging numbers and talking about the future. Also, staying the night and cuddling sends a different signal than leaving afterwards. Some might consider an action like that pretty messed up, but at least it's clear. To avoid being pegged a jerk, be nice to your hookup afterwards. Saying hello at a dining hall shouldn't be that scary after having intercourse.

You can keep things informal while still having manners, and it's important to send the signals you want to send without tarnishing your reputation. You must maximize your attractiveness when searching for more good sex. You don't want that potench sex bomb to hear how rude you were to so and so. And everyone talks. Just like there are polite ways of gossiping, there are courteous ways to treat someone you've slept with. Snubbing your hookup is like spreading a nasty rumor.

Speaking of spreading things, I feel like Midd-kids are under this crazy illusion that STDs don't exist in our bubble, but they do, and having unprotected sex is self-deprecating and dangerous. If you're considering monogamy, make sure you and your partner get tested before riding without a seatbelt. Also, I believe all sexually active women should use birth control unless actively trying to get pregnant. Why not do all that we can to avoid buns in our ovens? I know I don't want to be a baker just yet.

There are some very basic considerations that make all relationships function smoothly. For one, steer clear of ex-talk at all costs. No one you sleep with wants to hear about other people you have banged (or for that matter, would bang). It's unnecessary information. Most importantly, remember that sex is not always about two people. Don't disturb your neighbors and don't flake on your friends for a fling.

On our campus, the hookup web is complex and surprising. Let's celebrate, not stifle, that fact. I've had overlaps with some of my best friends, and despite the awkwardness, we've accepted that attraction can't always be regulated. It's up to all of us to find a balance between passion and poise. One way to achieve this is to acknowledge that while sex shouldn't have rules per se, abiding to certain principles while playing the field makes us better team members.