Let's talk about sex, babies

Author: Veracity Butcher

Ever wonder why the morning after felt slightly stilted? You'll get ready for a date (or some fated dance party, expecting to meet a hottie boombody), have an amazing time indulging in pre-coital mating processes, but when it comes to the sex, fizzle out.

I hate unfulfilling sex because I know it's sometimes half my fault. There are times when I've just not been that into it. I was there mentally, but my body resisted. Sex was uncomfortable.

Women store their ejaculate in the back of their vaginas, and sometimes to get fully wet need a little finger coaxing to stimulate lubrication. Using lube during sex helps reduce painful friction and can make it last longer.

One might assume that a girl goes dry because she has ceased to be horny, but ejaculation and arousal don't have a simple correlation. Some women have experienced lubrication during sexual assault. Theories suggest that our bodies have adapted to rape, engaging our arousal muscles to protect ourselves from injury. Our bodily functions don't know better.

Using lube, or water, during sex is perfectly natural. Just avoid submerged sex. I retract the claim I made in my first article. The wetter not always the better. The pH levels of the vag get disturbed and you risk infection if you douche with anything, particularly douchebags. Good sex is like a three course meal: you want to relish every dish. Take your time. Have some wine.

Long-lasting sex helps women achieve orgasm; after about twenty minutes of pounding, her groin muscles involuntarily contract, and some women even come. After the first orgasm, she'll be able to peak quicker. Jonathan Margolis, in "O: An Intimate History of the Orgasm" says that if a woman is stimulated right after coming, she is likely to orgasm successively. If you're skeptical, I beg you to try.

Men can be multiorgasmic too, it just takes practice. Learning to contract the PC muscles, the ones which control urination, can actually prolong ejaculation and supposedly, allow men to have dry orgasms. You can practice while you pee! Kegel exercises are beneficial for both sexes, and train muscles to be more sensitive and responsive.

Chia and Abrams' "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" explores the process of arousal and ways to, essentially, defy nature and prolong pleasure. Women could get a lot out of the book as well. Its philosophy is based on Chinese energy flow and reflexology, but suggestions like licking the roof of your mouth are enticing - I wonder why it tickles. The book also offers masturbation exercises to help men hone their jedi skills. Sounds like a fun read.

Its up to us to meet our partners halfway; why not enjoy the process? Most of us shave before a date. I suggest we masturbate. You can get away with five o'clock shadow, but your self-esteem suffers when you leave a sexual experience disappointed. Seriously, you can't walk around with a loaded pistol. Don't take your body for granted. Just think. Everyone can benefit from another orgasm or two, shouldn't we be pursuing the best of all possible worlds?

Please e-mail me anything at vbutcher@middlebury.edu.

PS: Don't flush feminine hygiene products!