Most-watched YouTube videos of the year

Author: H. Kay Merriman

Whether we receive them via mass e-mails with the subject "Dude, this is hilarious!," reference them in daily conversation, watch them with friends over Otter Creek brews or simply use them as a distraction from that pesky political science paper, YouTube videos inundate our lives. Perhaps we identify with the rather unfortunate symptom described in "Jizz in My Pants" or maybe we just want to feel a love like that of Christian. In reality, watching small children, college students and generally average people receive their one to five minutes of fame gives us hope of one day achieving such recognition. As if you needed a means to procrastinate with finals fast approaching, here are the top YouTube videos of the 2008-2009 academic school year, as determined by a less-than-scientific polling of students. Search 'em, watch 'em, mock 'em, share 'em.

"Jizz in My Pants"

First debuted on SNL, The Lonely Island's hit single gives a whole new meaning to premature ejaculation. The funniest aspect of the music video, aside from the singers' facial expressions when they mimic the experience after which the song is named, is the electronic musical interlude that makes the song believable as a top-40 hit. Look for an appearance by Justin Timberlake as a janitor, and for more from The Lonely Island, check out "I'm On a Boat" with a guest appearance by T-Pain.

"Breast-feeding...at 8"

Watching this mother breastfeed her two daughters who are old enough to read, write and play piano is truly disturbing and yet, impossible to stop watching. Do people really live like this? Apparently so, and apparently, at age eight, a mother's milk is still "better than a million melons!" "So what do you think is the right age to stop breastfeeding?" the reporter asks. "Never," they both respond. "Never."

"Keeping your refrigerator stocked will get you many women"

The speaker offends multiple races and genders when he asserts, "If you have an assortment of drinks in yo' fridge, it's gonna open up the world. Women are gonna come over here. They gonna be comfortable. I know it sounds silly, but I want y'all to feel me on this right now," before opening his refrigerator to reveal an astounding variety of beverages. Still, we have to give the man props for all the effort he puts into luring women into his apartment. Does a fully loaded mini-fridge in Battell have the same desired effect?

"Asher Roth - 'I Love College'"

Simple and yet iconic, this less-than-glamorous portrayal of frat life makes Midd-kids either nostalgic for the good old days or thankful that they will never have to clean up a mess like that. Either way, we can all appreciate the grammatically incorrect message "my good friends is all I need." Let's just hope all those Solo cups the extras are holding did not go to waste.

"Christian the Lion"

Although this footage was originally posted two years ago, the recent addition of Olivia Newton John and Aerosmith as background music made the video popular this year. Although the captions encouraging us to "share the love" may be a little corny, it cannot be denied that the massive lion-human embrace makes us all want a good hug.

"Sneezing Panda"

Alec Baldwin showed this clip to Tina Fey on "30 Rock" and it has been passed around offices and dorm rooms ever since. The only thing cuter than the baby's entire body convulsity in a sneeze is the way the mother looks genuinely human in her surprised reaction.

"Cooking by the book with Chef Lil' Jon"

A brilliant yet disturbing mash-up of a Nick, Jr. TV show clip and a Lil Jon rap music video has seen an increase in views at Middlebury recently, after "Lazytown" star Julianna Rose Mauriello visited the College as a prospective student. She is no Emma Watson, but if she matriculates, she is liable to be the next feature of Middlebury's rumor mill.

"Disturbia by Doglover"

A preteen Rihanna wannabe offers a strikingly literal interpretation of the pop star's hit single. The humor lies not in her dance moves but in the serious expression she maintains throughout the song. Reminiscent of the self-choreographed dances of our childhoods, her creative use of a light switch in place of a strobe definitely earns her some credit in our book. Can't get enough of the lip-syncer extraordinaire? Don't worry - she has recorded dances to almost every hit that has topped the charts this year.

"But... he's gay!"

Sure, newscasters are expected to slip up every once in awhile, but this Channel Seven Action News anchorwoman reveals some subconscious homophobia while attempting to regale the feat of a blind mountain climber. The clip is worth watching at least twice in order to catch her co-anchor's reaction.

"David After Dentist"

This seven-year-old's visit to the dentist turns out to be quite a trip. Struggling to describe the sensations his body is experiencing, he finally lets out a shriek in his Dad's backseat. This video makes you question the ethics of parenting and also incites an unprecedented jealousy of root-canal patients.