Waters to wine The perfect study aid

Author: Mike Waters

Much has been made of Middlebury's "work hard, play hard" ethic. Constantly decried by its critics as the root of all that ails this institution - its high-stress academic environment and its destructive and embarrassing drinking culture - and yet defended by its proponents as part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle, few issues are able to divide the Middlebury population more than discussion of this loaded topic (with the exception of maybe budget cuts or anything sent out by the Center for Health and Wellness Education). Our esteemed president drew the ire of many students, parents and alums last year when he focused his Baccalaureate address on Middlebury's problems with alcohol, and while controversial (and, in this writer's opinion, poorly timed), Liebowitz couldn't be more right. There is something inherently wrong with "work hard, play hard." What is wrong with us that we kill ourselves all week in the library, only to kill ourselves in a different way on the weekends? Why glorify this corrupting, Jekyll-Hyde cycle, this separate-but-equal attention to work and play? Why keep them separate when they can be done together?

I speak, of course, about drinking while working. If one were to ask a professor about consuming alcohol while completing homework, I can hardly imagine that he or she would be supportive. Professors would probably fear that alcohol would contribute to a lower quality of work and a higher number of alcoholics in the student body. However, I contest that this is not the case.

Alcohol can be healthily and productively incorporated into schoolwork without negative consequences, although it may require more of an "everything in moderation" attitude than "work hard, play hard." Alcohol has a long history in the workplace, as numerous artists, writers and creative types have indulged (with varying effects) in drink, and even boardroom bigwigs and titans of industry partake in the occasional on-the-job swig (have you not seen "Mad Men?").

Of course, all this drinking while working does not come without qualifications. A glass of absinthe while painting a masterpiece of modern art is probably more appropriate to the work involved than, say, a tallboy of Icehouse while performing open-heart surgery. Some professions are more conducive to drinking than others, so choose wisely. In fact, this leads one to wonder how much certain Wall Street barons might have imbibed in the years leading up to the current financial crisis, or how much Big Three Auto CEOs might have taken advantage of their corporate jets' in-flight bars on the way to congressional hearings - this being the only logical reason to avoid driving, and the only logical way to explain the hypocrisy of their requests.

Nevertheless, history has seen a great many important figures who would have been far different without their particular substance of choice. For Hemingway, Poe, Pollock and so many others, the choice was always booze. Jack Kerouac was another alcoholic, although it was coffee that fueled his notorious three-week typing of the "On the Road" scrolls. Also not forgotten, our previous president has joined the ranks of historic figures with a long history of alcohol abuse. Regardless of the successes or failings of the people I've just mentioned - Hemingway's eventual suicide and Kerouac's descent into depression - I think that alcohol can be an appropriate, enjoyable, and productive addition to our working lives.

Even without considering the numerous relaxing chemical properties of alcohol, the feel of a cold bottle in hand or the weight of a cocktail glass can be enough to relax tense nerves and reduce stress. At the end of a long week or the conclusion of a stressful paper, an enjoyable adult beverage can be the perfect tool to settle down and tie up those last few loose ends. Personally, I've found that alcohol can be a perfect palliative for the stresses of a difficult workweek and can provide just enough of an opportunity for mental clarity and big-picture prognostications to keep things in perspective and ward off potential mental breakdowns. Additionally, there is, of course, alcohol's well-documented effects on creative work, and a good drink can produce works of art that are increasingly creative and increasingly enjoyable to produce. Of course, one must stop before things get too blurry.

Despite my opinions, it is not without warning that I make this recommendation. Much has already been made (in the April Fool's edition of this publication, for instance) of my predilection towards drinking, but contrary to popular belief, I do not drink while I write this column, and I haven't felt the need for any substance to fuel my creativity. Alcohol can provide an enjoyable break from a long night of work if the time is right, but it is important not to get carried away. If everyone mixed work and play with the same abandon as the Hemingways or Kerouacs of the world, we might end up with a couple more great novels - but at the risk of a bunch more bad executives.