Valentine’s Day is just three days away, and you still have no plans. Do you get a clichéd gift or make a fancy dinner reservation? But there was some snide comment about it being a “Hallmark Holiday.”

Maybe it is better to just ignore it. But will that only lead to a fight? Or worse and infinitely more confusing: the silent treatment? With all of these mixed signals, what is a lovestruck (or even a mildly interested) Midd-kid to do?

Here’s a suggestion: communicate. Our sex columnists are constantly referencing it, and our favorite guest speakers — the duo behind I <3 Female Orgasm — claim that it is key, but still, men and women cannot seem to tell each other what needs to be heard.

So, in hopes of improving your love life — be it this weekend or any other — The Campus has asked students to share what they wish the opposite gender knew about them.

Whether you find these quips stereotypical or actually helpful, our hope is that it will at least spark some bi-partisan discussion. Oh, and to answer the first question, we maintain that, whether he or she likes the holiday or not, your best bet is to at least remind your special someone that you care on Feb. 14.

— H.Kay Merriman, Features Editor

Watch out for Connor Stewart ’10.

—Drew Harasimowicz ’11

We’re generally fine with approaching you and starting a conversation. But it can’t hurt if you take the initiative.

—W. Spencer Wright ’11.5

I’m not just a large male.

—Kevin Glatt ’11

There’s nothing wrong with having a good time.

-—Zach Devore ’10

You’re not always right.

—Connor Burleigh ’10.

I know you’d like to thank your shit don’t stank, but it does — it

smells like boobooboo.

—Mike Panzer ’10

I’d love to take off your shirt right now but, to be honest, I have no idea what to do with boobs — I’m like a dog chasing a car; what I am going to do once I catch it?

—Will Surrette ’10

Don’t overanalyze my text message — I took six seconds to craft it.

Don’t overanalyze my thoughts in general — they are much simpler than you think, and yes, I took six seconds to craft them, as well.

Back rubs. Back rubs. Back rubs.

—Donny Dickson ’11

I wish Middlebury women knew how jacked and tan I am.

—Ben “The Situation” Rubin ’11

When you get upset about something entirely inconsequential, I question whether or not you belong at Middlebury.

—Brooks Coe ’12

Make it obvious. We’re dumber than you realize.

—Mike Bayersdorfer ’10

Just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.

—Jack Maher ’12

Men want women to know that we don’t like lists like this.

—Avery White ’10

You’ve got to become friends with my girlfriends. Their approval is key.
—Kristen LaPlante ’10

When you see me on a Friday or Saturday night, dressed in my best — a plain white tee, leggings, boots, cute hat and scarf — and you know I’m not going out, but I managed to bump into you anyway, don’t question it.  It was no accident.
—Barbara Ofosu-Somuah ’13

You need to learn how to take a hint.
—Meghan Mendoza ’12

Don’t shave. Ever.
—Alice Ford ’10

We love the ruffle chips in Proctor. Stop loading your plate up with them and save some for us!
—Laura Dalton ’10

Just asking counts for a lot. Suit up.
—Sara Black ’10

Just because I’m taken doesn’t mean I’m not checking out your butt.
—Hannah Parker ’10

Your sexist jokes aren’t funny. No, not even a little.
We don’t have pillow fights at sleepover parties in our underwear. Sorry.
—Amanda Quinlan ’10

All Middlebury women secretly wish they were the Coffrin toucher, pearls and all.
—Dale Freundlich ’10

Good hygiene = importante.
—Beth Connolly ’10

Sometimes we actually are tired, not just avoiding having sex with you!
—Hallie Woods ’12

I love it when you open the door for me. Chivalry is not dead.
If you are going to stare at me, at least pay me a compliment.
Proctor salad bar is not a date.
—Dallas Moody ’10