Reel Critic - 02/11/10

Recall the movies of our youth. Think teen comedies — “American Pie,” “Varsity Blues,” “Superbad.” Each of these movies shares a common theme, responsible for developing every shred of humor, tragedy and redemption.

This theme is sex.

In these movies, there are only two kinds of characters: those that are constantly having sex, and those that are constantly thinking about having sex, and their plots are based entirely on the interactions of these two archetypes. This makes sense, considering that to most hormonally frenetic teenagers, sex is of the most perceived significance.

While these movies were funny, or at the very least seemed funny then, they generally lack a certain degree of sophistication.

Their storylines are born of recycled interpretations of melodramatic teenage angst, their humor is only really only relatable to the 14-24 year old demographic, and their casts typically consist of a dispensable carousel of aging child actors.

Disagree? Let’s try a quick ‘Where are they now?’ of the actors that carried these projects.

Jason Biggs was really counting on that cameo he didn’t get in “American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile.” Aside from a two-episode stint as a schizophrenic serial rapist on “Criminal Minds,” and a recent guest appearance on “Lopez Tonight!” (both true), James Van Der Beek all but disappeared after leading the West Canaan Coyotes to their 23rd District Championship.

Inexplicably, Michael Cera is still popular, though this can’t last much longer.

Anyway, the point we’re hovering around is that movies enjoyed by adult audiences (note: not adult movies […] these are different), examine a more complex thematic landscape than your typical teen sex comedy, and usually require a cast of greater talent to do so.

I accepted this as truth until I realized: it’s complicated.

In “It’s Complicated” (get it!), director/writer/producer Nancy Meyers explores the tumultuous, and disturbingly active love lives of three 50/60-something singles.

The movie stars Meryl Streep as a recently abandoned empty nester, Alec Baldwin as the philandering ex-husband who left for a woman half his age, and Steve Martin as the devastatingly emasculated architect hired to remodel her kitchen. And while all three of these characters seem to enjoy loving families, fulfilling careers and comfortable lifestyles, their existences seem wretchedly incomplete in the absence of one thing: sex.

Therefore, with the help of a little blue pill, Meyers sends her three heroes on a quixotic journey to rediscover their own sexuality.

But these characters aren’t having the sort of elegant, Cialis, twin-bath sort of sex we would expect a reasonable adult of their age to have. Instead, they lose all sensibility in a brand of impulsive, hijinks-ridden, prom-night rumpus, turning “Complicated” into an AARP approved Porky’s.

However, as troubling as I may find the subject, this is not an indictment of the pharmaceutically enhanced libido, as the romanticized sexual promiscuity is only a symptom of Meyers’ apparent crisis of age.

Amidst the uncertainty of their own aging, the characters tirelessly attempt reverting to a primitively contrived state of youthfulness. Streep, age 60, professes her genuine love of “The Hills.”

Baldwin, age 51, uses Internet acronyms (e.g., OMG) in casual conversation. They both share a joint at a party celebrating the college graduation, of their youngest son. (The footage of Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin and Jim from “The Office” hot-boxing a bathroom should be used in an anti-drug PSA. Marijuana is officially no longer cool. If it ever was.)

With her rendering of geriatric insecurity, Meyers suggests that one’s twilight years lack meaning, and that in order to achieve happiness, one must forsake the tired traditions of their own generation in exchange for a more rewarding life on the cutting edge. I sincerely hope this isn’t true. In fact, I look forward to my senior years, precisely so I won’t have to care about whatever 2050’s version of reality television, or Twitter, turns out to be.

Furthermore, however flawed our generation’s social conventions may be, they do belong to our generation, and the manner in which Meyers’ characters embrace them is alarming. American youth culture has always been validated by parental disapproval (think rock and roll, or recreational drug use), and if the boomers continue to highjack ours, then what will it be worth?

If “It’s Complicated” were simply another in a long line of middling romantic comedies, starring the likes of Dennis Quaid or Meg Ryan — talent equivalents of a Biggs, Van Der Beek, or Cera — we could have the luxury of ignoring it. Unfortunately it isn’t. Meryl Streep is perhaps the most acclaimed actor of her generation. Steve Martin was the funniest man on the planet for the better part of a decade.

Though I’m not personally a fan, the umpteen-million viewers of 30 Rock would probably agree that Alec Baldwin is no slouch himself (although some don’t trust a man with an immaculate record).

Their very participation endows a degree of legitimacy that suggests this film is reflective of a greater cultural trend.

Should this be the case, let us encourage our elders to welcome the virtues of aging.

Meanwhile, as they are the generation responsible for the current economic calamity, which has left ‘ditch-digging’ atop my list of post-graduate employment opportunities, let us discourage them from meddling in our present, for they have already ruined our future.