Where do I belong?

The beginning of a new semester is always daunting, and the beginning of college, for new Febs, can be even more intimidating. What should I wear? Who will I eat dinner with? What should I study? How will my decisions affect my future? Well, never fear — The Campus has compiled a list of the eight types of students at Middlebury. In the same vein as the composers of the Midd-kid Rap, we admit to self-deprecation and self-fulfillment of these stereotypes. Sort yourselves accordingly. Doodles by Hannah Parker.

The Bro

Major: Econ.
Future Occupation: I used to want to be a banker, but now I’ve totally changed paths. I’ll be working for a hedge fund instead.
Never without: Eleven guys who look just like me.
On my iPod: The “Seans” – Paul, Kingston and Jay.
Catchphrase: “Yo, there’s so much you don’t understand about me.”

The Girl in Pearls

Life Before Midd: Deerfield by way of Darien, Conn.
Major: HARC
On my iPod: I’m really into Dave Matthews right now.
Future Career: Mommy, decorator, wedding planner.
In my closet: The same sweater, pants and bag in at least 15 different colors, meticulously stacked.
Dinner: Proctor salad bar and then joining whichever boys’ team table still has space for me.
Catchphrase: “I know, riiiiight? I feel exactly the same way.”

WRMC Mafioso

Dinner: Cigarette outside Proctor Lounge.
Dates: The first-year with the coolest haircut.
On my iPod: You haven’t heard of it.
In my closet: Whatever NYU hipsters were wearing three years ago.
Catchphrase: “[Fill-in-the-band] is so played. I’m not listening to them anymore.”

The Joiner

Major: Double Poli Sci and Arabic with a Minor in Teacher Ed.
Dinner Plans: Grab-n-go on the way to a cappella practice.
A Typical Day: Class from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. plus a casual audit between my meeting with the Commons Council and planning Winter Carnival with MCAB.
Future Occupation: Catching up on all the sleep and fun I missed in college.
Facebook Friends: 1,600.
Catchphrase: “Let me check my schedule.”

The Mountain Club Kid

Never without his: Two Nalgenes and a Peregrine, in case my Camelbak runs dry.
Spent Feb Break: Dogsledding across the Klondike Highway, after ice climbing Mount Washington before skiing down Tuckerman’s. Relaxed with a few three-mile hikes.
Future Occupation: Intern at OneSky.
Dinner Plans: I’ll make some pita bread sandwiches and go for a picnic at the outdoor classroom. GORP for dessert!
Catchphrase: “No worries. “

The Ross Diner

Dates: Someone else who eats in Ross.
In my closet: Pajamas — no outerwear necessary.
Drink of Choice: Fresh-squeezed orange juice.
Catchphrase: "I've never met her. She must eat in Proctor."

The Invisible Student:

Hometown: We wouldn’t know.
Major: MBB.
Dinner: 4 p.m. so I can get in and out on my way to the basement of the library, where I sit in the back nook.
Future career: Our boss.
On my iPod: Mozart, for a break from just earplugs.
Catchphrase: “Is there a maximum page limit?”

The Jock

Major: American Studies.
Dinner Plans: Piling into a Range Rover with my teammates for the 45-second ride to the dining hall.
Future Occupation: Taking over the family business.
In my closet: A T-shirt from every tournament I've ever played in.
Drink of Choice: A warm Busch Light.
Catchphrase: "I just don't 'get' recycling."