Taste Cheese with Chopsticks

 

I have been focusing too much on distinctions. Coming to a new culture, it is natural to encounter little differences to huge cultural shocks that remind me of all the distinctions between home and the place I am living now.

I wrote about how Americans and Chinese have different perceptions towards the moon, how the characteristic of independence in America has its equivalence of cute in China, how Western and Eastern culture prioritize filial piety differently … These are all the reasons we are different, but we tend to forget there are more characteristics that make us similar.

I was at the spring activities fair two weeks ago. When I went to recruit new members for International Student Organization (ISO) with another board member, the most frequent question I got from students was “Can I sign up if I’m an American?”

I was frustrated to get responses like that, especially when I knew how hard ISO tried to promote us as an organization that is open to everyone and anyone.

There are a lot of cultural organizations on campus, such as Chinese Society, German Club and Islamic Society, and they are not only for students who identified with that certain culture. It is we who distinguish and limit ourselves by cultural background.

The notion of seeking similarity rather than distinction came to me stronger several days later when I was having dinner with a friend. She asked me how welcoming Americans are comparing to Chinese to foreign visitors.

I was about to differentiate again. But after comparing them, I realized there is not that much of a difference. Chinese people may seem more excited than Americans when seeing foreign faces, but it is reasonable since most of them never encounter any foreigners in their lifetime.

Chinese like to invite friends to go out for dinner, while more often Americans bring friends over to their house. Although the format of welcoming friends is different, both cultures, and I believe all other cultures, want to be amicable to friends.

Once I realized this, the theme of similarity started to reappear in my life. During the talk The Commonwealth of Breath last Thursday, David Abram at one point addressed the human perception of air through the lens of Hebrew Bible.

He pointed out that the sacred YHWH resembles the sound of our breath. Although he is focusing on the indigenous cosmologies and the intellectual history of the west, there is something similar to the religion and philosophy of the east.

When he mentioned the sound of our breath, I instantly related it to a common practice in Buddhism: one way to practice Zen is to count the breath. And the same linkage between the mind and the atmosphere will be noticed.

Realizing the differences definitely helps one to learn and adapt to a new culture. But digging too deep and reinforcing those differences may lead to intense partition. Conflicts are usually not caused by fundamental differences of culture but by miscommunication and misunderstanding.