(Positive) Sex Talk

I am almost 22 years old and last week at the Gensler Symposium I was shown, for the first time in my life, how to use a female condom. (And, for that matter, a male condom as well.) I have attended five different schools, three public and two private (including Middlebury), have open, supportive parents and have been involved in groups and workshops about sex and sexuality. But never before have I been exposed to a lesson that has taught me about proper condom-use. I am sure I am not the only one.
Since arriving at Middlebury three-and-a-half years ago I have been impressed with the College’s progression in confronting the issue of sexuality and sex on campus. However, as I have been loosely connected with the Sexual Assault Oversight Committee and other groups that cover sexual assault, I have found that Middlebury is vocal about the issue of sexual assault and rape, or more broadly, the problems that sex has created on this campus. By no means do I wish to speak ill of these programs; rather I wish to address what is still missing here: the presence of sex education programs. With such a strong emphasis on prevention, Middlebury is not recognizing how to encourage students to explore the enjoyment of sex.

Many of us arrive at Middlebury without having received health education — or if we have, it has not gone so far as to educate us about how to effectively use protection, much less how to explore ourselves and others. Middlebury is a place of firsts for many students: first time living away from home, first time getting a bad grade, first time having sex. We address other firsts by providing tutors, counselors, support groups and student leadership groups, but we don’t have any events where students can learn how to effectively use a condom, how to get oral contraceptives or ask about spermicide. We need to offer all students an opportunity to learn about safe sexual practices and how to attain sexual pleasure, both alone as well as with others.
In my first year I attended a sex-toy talk and presentation in the Chateau, but since then no other similar programs have been offered. My hope is that with the hiring of the new director of health and wellness this campus will see an increase in events such as this, which will promote further conversations about sex. I also hope that events will cover topics on which many of us have speculated, but rarely talked about such as what a female condom looks like and how it is used; or how one uses a diaphragm or dental dam. Many of these questions are not discussed and remain unanswered, but there are many students seeking answers and a space in which to discuss these topics. The College should be commended for providing spaces to increase awareness of the possible harms of sex; now it should do the same for the benefits of sex as well.