Introducing our new sex columnist, who will talk about all things sex on campus. Running biweekly and complementing Hooking Up Sober, Let’s Talk Sex will be answering the questions about sex you were too afraid to ask. How do we talk about sex? Is it ok to be a cougar? Curious about a threesome? For answers to these questions and more, look no further than our columnist named for the Greek goddess of love.
Sex has always been a mystery for me. Not the act itself – anyone can explore that – but the immense range of ideas, ideals and social constructs we associate with sex. For some, it is an act forbidden until marriage, for others it is a private act, for others still it is an act of conquest. This leaves me seemingly a minority, alone in feeling that sex is an amazing way to spend a Saturday night, an unabashed expression of lust and, above all, a natural act performed between two human beings who are not immoral, disgusting or slutty, but simply responding to their instincts.
From childhood, we are conditioned with the rhetoric and beliefs that our private parts (aptly named in reflection of our culture) should be hidden and protected at all times. Once we reach adolescence we are unable to shed this idea and oscillate between childish shame and the budding sexuality that our instincts beg us to explore.
This is an uncertain and insecure time, one plagued by insecurity whether or not you choose to pursue your sexuality. However, I have since come to understand and accept my attitude toward and love of sex, despite a socially common sentiment that condemns it as “slutty.” But I realize many of us have accepted this about ourselves. I will therefore strive in this column to share my ideas and experiences with the all of you and to challenge the conception of sex as taboo. With every reader, who may realize they feel the same way, it may be possible for more people to accept how they feel about sex.
Let’s start by acknowledging that our culture has made it extremely difficult to discuss sex in an open-minded manner. I hope that everyone who has experienced consensual sex can attest to it being a fun and positive part of life,. However, our socially practiced vocabularies tend to force us to discuss sexual encounters in a roundabout fashion.
“I slept with that girl last night,” “I want to hook up with that guy,” “s/he’s so hot.” All of these phrases can be heard in the dining halls, in the library cafe and in the locker rooms, but none of these common phrases explicitly describe the act or feeling of sex – they merely make vague references, saying very little.
This is astounding. Sex is the reason you and I are alive. Ultimately, sex is responsible for the survival of any species, including our own. So why are we unable to openly articulate it?
I, for one, have grown tired with this prude, false reality. For the rest of the year, every two weeks, I will discuss with you my innermost thoughts on the practice of sex, sex between different aged people, sex with multiple people, sex with forbidden groups of people, and everything in between. I have a lot to share, so I can only hope you stay tuned …
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