I am not a fan of unsolicited advice, and with that in mind I am going to give some. This is the last generation of Febs I will be here to see before tragically graduating a little less than a year from now. While I will hopefully be ready to go by then, three years ago I could have used some frank advice because as most Febs know, the scariest part of being a Feb is not getting out and seeing the world, but finally getting on this campus. So keeping in mind the memories of intense insecurity, doubt and anxiety from three years ago, I know that my freshman self would have appreciated a little real talk. So listen up:
Like many febs I applied early decision, checked both the Feb and non-Feb boxes, got my acceptance, and waited for more than a year to get on campus. That was a long, long year. So long that I forgot much of what the campus looked like and why I had chosen to apply. I was absolutely sick of explaining people why I was going to be attending college a semester late. No, I was not a special student. Yes, I will graduate in four years. No, I’m not on any sort of wait list. After all this I had set my expectations high and envisioned my college experience to be some kind of blend between Animal House, Old School, and Good Will Hunting. While I would still jump at the opportunity to don a toga, Middlebury isn’t quite like the films would suggest. Middlebury is not going to exceed all your expectations. There’s going to be disappointment, hardship and lot of late nights. Don’t let that get the better of you. Make your experience your own; nobody is going to make it for you. Do things you love with people you love and don’t feel bad about it.
My second point of anxiety came with classes. It took me too long to realize what I wanted to study. I had vague intentions of “exploring my options,” and I took a lot of classes for reasons I don’t quite know. More than that, I felt a tremendous amount of pressure to declare a major as I saw my peers connecting with advisors and finding exciting areas of focus like, “Religion with an Environmental focus.” I also struggled with the pressure we have all felt to select a major that will “make us some money.” When it comes to a major, don’t worry about it. Majors tend to find the student, not the other way around. Pick a major where the classes do not feel like classes. Pick a major because it explains the world to you. Pick a major that won’t have you looking at the clock every fifteen minutes. Chances are you will be better at the things you enjoy and you can make some money doing it. Take your time, find your groove, there are too many incredible classes here to be taking classes you don’t enjoy.
Let’s talk about social life. How do you talk about something that so many Midd kids struggle to have a healthy relationship with? I remember looking forward to each weekend with a pent up enthusiasm that seemed to wane week-by-week as I realized that, despite what the movies had told me, college students actually do other things with their free time than drink. Not that there’s anything wrong with drinking. Give it enough time though and you will realize that weekends are commonly used as a way to “blow off steam.” While I’m all for having a good time, and you should have a good time, don’t change. Be the person at 1:00 a.m. Saturday morning in the Grille that you are Tuesday in class. No, don’t go drunk to class, but don’t use the weekends as an excuse to be a different person.
I could go on and on, but advice tends to lose it’s potency the more it’s given. More than anything, baby febs, it’s up to you. Things are not going to be fantastic because your tour guide or your orientation leader said so. Things are going to be fantastic because you make it so. So keep meeting new people even when you feel like you have your circle of friends, try new things even when you think you know what you love, and be confident with who you are. Everything else is really up to you; take it from an old guy.
