In-Queer-Y: Reclaiming the F-word

Last week, I was on my way to town, when a man poked his head out of a navy blue truck and called me a faggot. Mind you, my first reaction to the event was confused: I thought I’d be targeted for the color of my skin and called the n-word, but instead I was called a faggot. Thus, part of me was thrown off by the way I was insulted. In other words, I find myself to be more oppressed as a person of color rather than my sexuality here at Middlebury. Nonetheless, I was called a faggot. I don’t know whether the color of my corduroys was a little too bright or the sway of my walk didn’t read masculine enough.

The last time I was called a faggot, I reclaimed the word right in front of the person. I gave him a twirl and said “Faggot, faggot, so what I’m a faggot?” This event was much different because I didn’t get a chance to respond. The car drove away quickly and I was left with a sunken mind and bitter taste. My reaction was sealed in me.

Similar to other words like queer and even the omnipresent n-word in the black community, faggot is in the works of being reclaimed. The difference, however, is who is saying it. Growing up, I thought the word queer was an insult, and it wasn’t until high school that I started seeing the word being used by queer and non-queer people, as it has been reclaimed by academia.

The n-word was way different. I’ve seen it be used all around me growing up in Washington Heights and it wasn’t until I enrolled in a New England prep boarding school that the word became taboo. I had now been surrounded by whiteness. Some white people say it because they understand the history and weight of the word, while some other white people can’t wait until they hear a rap song so they could shout it at the top of their lungs. The n-word has, in a way, been reclaimed in pop culture.

The word faggot, however, is still seen by the majority as a highly offensive word and is more difficult to reclaim. It is a more universal bad word since it has been used to discriminate against all types of men with all types of skin colors. I have never used it against a lesbian women, and so I am painting the word faggot as an attack to all who are not masculine enough.

Unlike the n-word and queer, which have both been reclaimed, faggot makes people uncomfortable and I am still trying to figure out why. Is a word reclaimed when it is often used?  Because surely I have heard the n-word so many times it would be ludicrous for me to try and call out someone or a song for saying it. The rapper YG’s song “My Nigga” won the 2014 BET Hip Hop Award for Track of the Year. How exactly does Black Entertainment Television perpetuate our oppressor’s language and make it a center point of success for the black man? In a way, it is used as an ironic device, a dialogue that goes along the lines of “look at how successful and powerful a nigga can be.”

Where is the faggot anthem? Who is going to write a mediocre song that goes #1 in all countries and liberates the fags? Despite how wrong this idea sounds, the same could be said about other reclaimed words decades ago. We must change the language so that oppressive words can be manipulated by those they oppress. We must hold the oppressor accountable for the damage he has been done but importantly, we must show the oppressor that we are resilient and stronger than he deemed us to be.