SPECS Panther Column — Raising awareness for men’s sexual assault

SPECS Panther is a mascot for SPECS (sex-positive education for college students) and serves the Middlebury community. As a part of Health & Wellness Education, SPECS Panther seeks to educate and spark independent dialogue, not be the end-all be-all resource on campus. We encourage Midd Kids to break down the walls of silence by engaging in sex-positive conversation — wherever, with whomever and about whatever is most comfortable, easy and safe for you. 

Sexual violence is a critical safety concern for colleges, representing the most common type of crime on Middlebury’s campus, according to the 2023 Annual Security and Fire Safety Report. Eighty-one percent of women and 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime, according to a 2018 national study. The #MeToo Movement, which went viral in 2017, was a milestone towards normalizing the conversation around sexual violence. Since then, public awareness of the prevalence of sexual violence — especially targeting trans, POC, non-binary and female-identifying people — has increased, according to the Pew Research Center. Still, more must be done to hold perpetrators of sexual violence accountable, offer resources and support to survivors, and to prevent further violence. 

We also need to re-emphasize that sexual violence is sexual violence, no matter the gender of the victim. For self-identifying men — inclusive of any and all definitions of that identity — unique societal barriers obstruct their access to counseling and ability to process their  unwanted sexual experiences. Due to dominant conceptions of masculinity, internal and external stigma and shame are pervasive, often resulting in delayed or ineffective treatment. SPECS is therefore committed to highlighting this largely unspoken, highly stigmatized topic. 

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, sexual violence is defined as any unwanted sexual contact, including “words or actions of a sexual nature against a person’s will and without their consent. A person may use force, threats, manipulations, or coercion.” Coercion can include wearing someone down by repeatedly asking them to engage in a sexual act until they give in, the presence of uneven power dynamics, external social pressures or even emotional manipulation. Examples of manipulation can include phrases like: “Oh, so you don’t love me?” or “If you don’t want this, it makes me insecure” or “But you were fine with this last time.” Understanding the scope of sexual assault is crucial for Middlebury, as the U.S. Department of Education's Campus Safety Survey data reports that more than one in ten students experience sexual misconduct on their college campus each year. In reality, incidents of college campus sexual misconduct are likely much higher than reported figures. 

But the question remains: Why is reporting instances of sexual violence more difficult for men? 

Several societally-upheld myths about sexual violence pose barriers to speaking out. Often the narrative around sexual violence is, understandably, centered around female-identifying victims and male-identifying perpetrators. While it is an undeniable fact that women are statistically more likely to experience sexual violence, this messaging can insinuate that men cannot be sexually assaulted and that women cannot commit sexual violence. In fact, a 2018 national study found that 30% of male victims reported experiencing sexual violence by female perpetrators. One way to avoid these generalizations is to consider rephrasing discourse on consent to be gender-inclusive. 

Another misconception about sexual violence is that if one experiences some physical signs of arousal (such as an erection, ejaculation, climax, etc.), then the encounter must have been consensual or pleasureable. However, physical signs of arousal do not indicate consent, as they are only physiological responses to external stimuli (referred to as arousal non-concordance). The assumption might be made that a man is “supposed” to want a sexual experience, even when consent is not explicitly given. Male-identifying individuals often struggle to acknowledge that they have experienced sexual violence due to societal messaging that they ought to want sex. An additional consideration is the danger of either blaming queer-identifying victims for their own assault or classifying perpetrators as queer aggressors.

At SPECS, we uphold that if there is ever a doubt about whether a sexual encounter is consensual, stop and have a conversation with the involved party. This can get especially confusing when substances are involved. Someone may not outwardly seem overly intoxicated, but could still be unable to consent. If there is any lingering question as to whether they are in a state to properly consent, waiting until another time is always the best choice. In a tricky situation like this, slow down and consider how you can positively contribute to upholding a culture of consent on campus. Perhaps you can walk them home, find one of their friends or give them your number for another night.

Avoid using minimizing language such as “that can’t happen to men,” “but did you enjoy it?”, “you’re putting too much blame on them” or “you put yourself in that situation.” People process unwanted sexual encounters differently, whether through anger, silence, denial, humor or other outlets. Especially avoid assumptions and judgemental statements like “if it really happened to you, you wouldn’t be talking about it that way.”

At SPECS, our foundational aim is to provide education that enables people to contribute to a safer community on Middlebury’s campus. A primary goal is to destigmatize and remove shame from speaking about sexual experiences for everyone. Sexual violence is universal, can be initiated by anyone and can be prevented by anyone. As Midd Kids, we all have a collective responsibility to hold ourselves and each other accountable and to create a culture of consent and healthy communication on our campus and beyond.

If someone you know tells you about an unwanted sexual experience, direct them to any of the following resources. On-campus options include MiddSafe (802-377-0239), Health Services (802-443-3290: SANE nurses, usually same day appt), Counseling Services and anonymous general reporting to Title IX/Civil Rights Office. For the Town of Middlebury, refer to the Atria Collective (802-388-4205) or Porter Emergency Room (802-388-4701: SANE nurse).