Losing faith or keeping hope?

I am commonly asked by friends and family at home what the current American atmosphere is like. The past month has proven to be a dramatic shift in what America means to me.

It was a typical cold winter day in Vermont. I had woken up early to catch the morning sun, hoping that its warmth would provide some comfort and certainty despite the dreary display of recent events. I was fixated on the Feb. 28 meeting between President Zelensky and President Trump, feeling disorientated — like I had just woken from a fever dream, witnessing a nightmare materialize into reality. As I approached the campus fitness center, I saw three large flags floating in the distance. One stood out to me. Red, white and blue. Powerful and strong. The U.S. flag waved in the air. 

I was reminded of where I was. As an exchange student from the U.K., I felt a wave of nostalgia, remembering the joy and excitement that these colours and ideals once sparked. I remember watching Rocky III for the first time. It was the final fight between Rocky and Drago, and Rocky walked to the ring in his bright American stripes. When all hope was lost, the United States of America was there to beat the Russians. It was a scene that seemed so far away, and the antithesis to what I felt I had just witnessed.

My desire to visit the U.S first emerged when my aunt and uncle told me about their visit to New York when I was seven years old. They described the grandness of the city, a place that exuded a dreamlike landscape: huge skyscrapers, jam-packed sports stadiums and burgers the size of my head. 

The United States of America has always been the land where dreams come true. A place where prosperity, liberty and equality flourish, the epicentre of the capitalist and democratic world. But on this day, the flag began to sag and lose its posture. Maybe it was an illusion, but to me, the flag had begun to lose its glamour. It no longer made my heart feel excited. Instead, I felt disappointed. It was like finding out your childhood hero was wearing a costume and his superpowers were a fabrication made on a green screen. But, like each time Superman comes onto the screen, I still go to watch, waiting until the very last minute for him to save the day. Was this the same as what is happening today? Will the flag soon return to its powerful and strong pose? Or maybe this was the end of that story, a new era, a new America. 

The post-World War II era has been built on an ideal that the U.S would guide the West to a better, fairer world — a world where inequality does not exist, and that everyone has a fair chance of the pursuit of happiness. What happens when this legacy disappears? What will become the next flag we search for? Trump's Republican party prioritizes an ‘America first’ attitude towards foreign policy, reshaping its image across the globe. No longer does it stand as the big brother to democracy. Instead, the U.S. has isolated itself, leaving everyone else to find a new path to future prosperity. 

On that day I thought that a long swim would clear my thoughts. But, the swim was not silent. I continued to ponder the vast changes that were taking place in the landscape that I shared the last seven months. I wondered if Americans had felt a loss in their sense of self. The recent election results should tell you that overall, this is what the United States wants. But the mood in Middlebury seems different, people seem saddened — resenting the new identity their nation holds.

The inward attitude of the Trump administration is not only taking over in the U.S. It is the same across Europe, specifically with the U.K.’s Reform Party. As the former leader of the free world, the U.S. has shifted the path towards a more disconnected Western Hemisphere, laying the ground for a future disconnected Europe. Parties like the Reform Party will see Trump's success as an opportunity to seize. 

At first, I was angry at the insular attitude that dominated new American policies. My anger was squashed when I was reminded of Brexit. Many of my European friends find humour in the fact that Brexit had such a profound impact on Britain, especially its impacts on my passport and my ability to travel around Europe. I desperately didn’t want to be associated with it, especially since I wasn’t old enough to vote at the time it happened. This is the same as today’s situation. Trump has steered the U.S. onto a new path. Like Brexit, the future is very uncertain, and as a European, it feels dangerous and scary. 

To find hope in a situation that seems so absolute seems pointless. I had to remind myself that America changes leaders every four years, bringing new ideas and policies with them each time. My discomfort can be short-lived. It is important to not lose hope in our ideals just because the current government does not align with our views.

So, when I look at the flag, I think of the principles I want it to define, not of the ones that it currently does. With that, I can begin to hope for the day it will hold those same ideas again.