In the first installment of The Closet Report, I made a dig at the prevalence of Vermont’s flannels and hiking boots, but I also said there’s nothing wrong with embracing the maple… So for this last article, I would like to pay homage to the crunchy granola people in a way they best deserve: by highlighting none other than the man, the myth, the biology major, Noel Schlageter ‘26.5.
My outfit breakdowns normally start at the top and go down from there, but the star of the show preferred to remix this formula, beginning instead at the toes.
“They’re Redbacks. They’re sort of like Blundstones but with better soles, so they’re better for hiking. I got them in Australia when I was staying with my girlfriend’s family there,” Schlageter said.
Schlageter works outside a lot, especially in the summer, gardening and doing surveys in the forest. Pulling up the bottom hem of his pant legs, he displayed a pair of long, colorful socks starring a moose and a bear sitting in a little canoe, a rainbow arcing between them.
The pants themselves are laurel green Carharts, hand-me-downs from his girlfriend’s dad, who works as a contractor. The inner lining is a “deliciously warm” flannel material.
“This is my one and only belt,” he continued, pointing to the tannish-red leather waistband encircling his hips. “It’s the exact color of the benches in Proc.”
What really caught my eye, however, was Schlageter’s short-sleeved button-up, layered over a black long-sleeve turtleneck. The outer layer is Aboriginal work, also gathered in Australia. Its backdrop is a speckled gray color with black streaking designs, almost like bugs moving and flowing in and out of each other. It features, as well, red, orange, and purple streaking patterns. “I think it’s meant to represent termites in a termite colony,” Schlageter said.
Having lived in Vermont for the past several years, most of his clothing caters to the winter and leans toward the utilitarian while incorporating interesting patterns. Practicality is a point for him, but so is letting the torso “be funky.” That’s where all his exploration goes.
The denim jacket he wears also exemplifies this eccentricity — originally a gift from his sister, he feels that even if his shirt doesn’t bring enough to his outfit of the day, the jacket adds a ton of energy. The top he sports in our interview is also slightly out of the norm. Usually he’ll wear a sweater of some sort, some of which he makes himself.
One more thing: he wears his keffiyeh over it all. “Because free Palestine,” Schlageter said . We held our interview in Proctor Lounge after a Middlebury Students for Justice in Palestine meeting we’d both been attending.
His long ponytail sits over the back of his keffiyeh. Schlageter hasn’t gotten a haircut since October of 2020. His hair travels down to the middle of his back. It’s wavy and the color of dark hay, described by June Su ’27 as “majestic.”
When asked why he decided to grow out his hair, he replied, “I think the main reason is that I got kinda bullied for my old haircut. People said I looked like the LEGO Luke Skywalker — the one with the weird round hair. It was like an evil bowlcut. And if I were to flip my hair around, it wouldn’t move — it would just stay in one place, completely unmoved by the elements.”
According to him, it’s a lot of work to take care of, but he grew it out so that he could actually have the ability to manipulate it in some way. To him, it’s like a security blanket.
On the topic, June Su ‘27 told me, “I can see him standing in that field from Howl’s Moving Castle with the little cottage and his hair just blowing in the wind. Like, I just want to put him in a snowglobe.”
While Schlageter mentioned that some of his friends have claimed his “Pinterest archetype” would be “hipster”, perhaps “bio major” would be closer to the truth, considering his love of natural patterns.
A native of New Jersey, Schlageter comes from a fairly affluent suburban family who moved around a lot, even outside the U.S. for a time, until finally landing in Vermont in 2018, where he attended “a funky little high school, where everyone wore funky little shirts and not a lot of shoes until the fire warden came and told us to stop doing that.” Some insecurities sprouted from a confusion about where he really belonged, so Schlageter began dressing as the rugged, outdoorsy, artsy type to try and create an identity for himself.
“At first I really was the meme of the kid wearing completely unspotted overalls while in school, and even when I really would go work on the farm, it was totally impractical in the summertime in Vermont,” Schlageter said.
Eventually, however, the fashion choices he made to create his rustic aesthetic became what he was most comfortable with, and so he’s stuck with it ever since. With most of his work being physical labor and his interests residing in the hills of Mother Nature, Schlageter embodies the style in his everyday life
Sam Kulasinghe-Larriere ’26.5 compared Schlageter’s style to that of a camp counselor.
“Like a really chill one who’s really enthusiastic about nature and teaching you about animals. And he’s usually wearing a lanyard. He really looks like a park ranger or a park scientist,” Kulasinghe-Larriere said.
The clothes Schlageter wears now have meant a billion different things to him in the past two years, and their significance has shifted from his high school years when he was trying to create a persona, to now, when he totally and effortlessly embodies that persona. He’s become exactly who he wanted to be — passionate-about-animals camp counselor in spirit — and that’s cause for celebration.
One last meaningful quote from the mountain man of the hour, which I, the author of this short-lived but endlessly fun-to-write column fully support, goes as such: “If it’s out there and it calls to you, then why not wear it?”
If I can leave you with anything, it’s to not let others dictate what you should wear. Don’t let trends be the only thing guiding you. Explore what you can — your personality is a magnet for the garments you use to present yourself to the world. It’s your job to have fun making sure they do a good job of it.
Editor’s Note: June Su ’27 is the Senior Multimedia Editor for The Campus.
