Christian Values... - 09/09/10

School is in session, and everyone has come with their “fall collection”—a culmination of items, spanning from what was not left behind in the spring to the last item that you got before returning to beautiful 05753.  You may be asking yourselves, “Christian, what is this talk about ‘fall collections’ and what are these items you speak of?”  Starting from the ground up, these items include nail polish, sneakers, shoes, pumps, roller skates, thread/metal ankle bracelets, tube/dress socks, knee highs, thigh highs, stockings, pants, shorts, skirts, leggings, jeans, jeggings, belts, shirts, sweaters, hoodies, coats, jackets, vests, hand bags, rings, necklaces, sunglasses, eyeglasses, ear rings, hair and last but not least, tattoos and piercings. It is these items that make up your “fall collection.” Each and every one of you has one.

Now you must be asking yourself, “Christian, how is this “fall collection” concept relevant to my life?”  This can be answered with another question.  How will you make those 2 – 3-year-old commercial items look like new?  That jacket you’ve had for five years, or those shoes you just can’t get rid of.  The answer is simple: you need swagger.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with swagger — or as I like to call it, “swag”— it is a word that describes your demeanor for your daily image.  It is how we dazzle the public beyond the limitations of fashion, which is an industry that needs us and not the other way around. In “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” it is the naked king’s swagger that tricks his subjects into thinking he is wearing a fantastic invisible garment. Swagger is specific to the individual.  Let us compare the swagger of the Rocker and the Gentleman/Lady.  The Rocker gives off that “I just don’t care” look, which captivates those of us that have a thing for bad boys and girls.  Their swagger is mysterious and seductive.  We rockaholics try to not to give in, Mother may not approve, but everyone likes a taste of sin at some point.

The Gentleman and the Lady may not be rabblerousers but they swag just as hard as the Rocker.  The Gentleman’s mother taught him well: he dresses in a two or three piece suit on most occasions and is always a delight to have at parties. His suit jacket may look a bit tarnished, but his attitude tells everyone that he is worth talking to.  His swag is confident and robust, and he can be quite a charmer.

A Lady’s swag is my favorite.  It incorporates elegance, poise, pride, elusiveness and grace.  The Lady can be mysterious, but she also has the ability to demand attention, and sometimes she’ll get that attention under the right circumstances.  She garnishes herself in jewelry, cotton and cow hide.  Anything can be worn by this girl —she can rock the pant suit or the ballroom gown.  There is so much diversity in the Lady’s closet that it compares well with that of the Rocker’s.  Consider the Lady’s closet a melting pot of garment genres. Now that’s swagtastic!

Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg; a mere sampling of the many different sub-swaggers that exist.  Your swagger is like the momentum of your day.  Having coffee spilled on you can interrupt that momentum — and I’m sure we can all agree that hot coffee on the thigh is not swagtastic.  Middlebury, I ask that you at least try on your swagger.  Mirrors are optional.