Coming OUT - Sean Maye '11

Middlebury’s OUT day marks one of the first times that our campus has collectively engaged the idea that honesty about our identities can truly foster an empathetic, socially responsible and dynamic community.  However, despite its relative merit, I can’t help but think that this movement undermines what coming “out” truly means. That is, in its message, the Middlebury OUT movement aims to “broaden the context” in which the phrase “coming out” is used, extending the opportunity to students to come out as gay, straight, male, female, athlete, poet, human, clown or anything of their choosing.  And, though it was supposed to run in conjunction with the (So) Over the Rainbow agenda, it explicitly meant that coming OUT on this day was not strictly related to a declaration of one’s sexual orientation. For me, this is where the problem begins. When we first hear that someone has come out, we automatically assume the person has chosen to identify as a homosexual. And no matter what, our assumptions are inextricably linked to this notion.  Understanding that someone is coming out ultimately assumes that this person had something to come out about. Having previously stifled a part of themselves that no one could see or interpret, one’s coming out serves as a measure in finally revealing the truest form of themselves in as raw a context as possible. Most times, this means someone is coming out as homosexual.  Many other times, though, an individual’s coming out is a revelation of their transgender/sexual, bisexual or queer identity(ies). Whatever the mark, the term is clearly charged by a sexual and/or orientation-based context. After all, when MiddBlog posted earlier on Wednesday that President Liebowitz supported the movement under the title, “Liebowitz Comes OUT,” they were forced to print a retraction of the title, after many argued that it made an inappropriate assumption. They corrected the title to say “Ron Liebowitz Comes Out to Proctor to Support Midd OUT Day,” yet their stance on the issue simply reconfirms my belief that the phrase coming out is a symbolic term that is exclusive to the emotional struggle that closeted individuals deal with day in and day out.

So, when the Middlebury OUT movement completely reconstructed the idea of what coming out is supposed to mean, I couldn’t help but be offended. As a homosexual myself, I know that my coming out process was extremely difficult. For years I struggled to understand and come to terms with what it meant to be gay. When I finally told the world what I was, I felt comforted by the liberation my coming out afforded me. I could finally be gay, out and proud.  But, if we grant everyone the ability to say that they are “out” simply because they are publically voicing various aspects of their identity, then my coming out and many others’ coming out as homo/transsexuals is wholly illegitimated. For example, a straight, white, Christian male does not have to hide these aspects of his identity, but if he chose to come “out” on this day as such, his revelation would be placed with the same value next to my coming out and the coming out of so many socially stigmatized individuals. I think that Middlebury’s coming OUT day tried to do some good but ultimately fell short of the mark. Perhaps, the movement would have been better if the iconic OUT shirts were solely worn by people who were, in fact, gay or simply allies. Otherwise, though, I think it was irresponsible to allow individuals to make the same attributions of identity that so many people struggle to achieve after years of incensed internal turmoil.