Et Tu, Sweatpants - 11/18/10

Whether we like it or not, winter is coming: Vermont’s sub-artic, snow-covered, frostbitten, I-don’t-want-to-leave my-warm-bed-ever-again winter. And yes, the same chilled air that quashes many a well-intentioned Friday night trip to the bar also forces us to drown ourselves in squishy down-feathered jackets ala the Michelin man and trade in our favorite ballet flats for Uggs and Sorels. But just when East Coast weather may seem the arch-nemesis of style, I offer you hope!

Let’s travel back to a time before North Face, Patagonia and Burton had perfected the fine scientific art of heat-trapping fabrics, water resistance and general fluffiness — people worked, lived, traveled in all sorts of inclement weather with the fine art of? Layering. Just because it’s cold out doesn’t mean that you have to be a slave to the your one winter coat — people survived harsh winters for centuries before North Face.

Now, what I propose isn’t a burning of the ski jacket, instead it’s the expansion of options. One day we’ll leave this place and make some sort of attempt at being grown ups, people with jobs and meetings and consequently, some sort of occupationally constructed attire. Now assuming you don’t work in the middle of the woods, a bold assumption for here I’m aware, a ski coat won’t always cut it: you need one good coat.

This is the coat your mom bought you to go see the Nutcracker. It’s black, maybe navy, it matches with everything, it’s big enough to fit a sweater under (but not so bulky it makes you look like you’re part of a tower of little rascals in disguise) and most importantly, it doesn’t limit you: you can go anywhere in this coat and not feel like some college kid who fell off the ski lift.

So let’s get specific. Pea coats, for both sexes, are always in style. They’re simple and old school without seeming old. In general men under thirty should avoid wearing coats that go below the torso, and girls should stick to lengths above the knee… unless we want to look like grandma. As for color? The more basic the better, but make sure its seasonally dark, nothing’s more out of place than pastel floral patterns in the middle of January.  Trench coats are always better on women (unless you’re going for the “Spy vs. Spy” look) and should come in at the waist to avoid looking boxy.

If you want to get a little more creative, plaid lumberjack coats and leather jackets well layered underneath are always cool. Fur, fake or real, is always risky choice, but take it from me, if you can pull it off you’ll be toasty warm.

Now what allows us more options for on top is indeed what goes underneath. We already utilize Hot UnderArmour Chilis and spandex for our active-activities, so why not just for the hell of it — perhaps even in the name of fashion itself!?  There is a reason your great Aunt Betty has knit you 13 sweaters over the past 20 years: they’re warm. So if you’re not feeling her reindeer wool go find some non-itchy, super-soft cardigans and quirky sweatshirts that DON’T have a college’s name on them pick something fun or personal, the more unique the better. Dorky knit sweaters from the Salvation Army can be gold; the so-ugly-it’s-cool category still exists people, and not just for hipsters.

So end your co-dependent relationship with your ski jacket.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.