Notes from the Desk Attainable expectations

Author: Emma Gardner

At the beginning of each semester at Middlebury I find myself scribbling lists of my aspirations for the next few months in an often neglected assignment book that usually resides somewhere deep inside my cluttered desk, filled with similar records of "to do" items. Depending on the results of the previous semester, my ambitions fluctuate between the bold, the impossible and the pathetic; what was last semester "get all As," this semester could become "get an A, any A, JUST ONE A." Some hopes and dreams seem to perennially occupy the top of my list, such as "do all my class readings," "no more parking tickets" and "go to the gym at least once a week" (crossed out and replaced with "a semester").

This spring, my list is simple: "attend class." It's not that my personal expectations have sunk to a record low, or that I have completely given up on the gym - it's just that I have realized a few things, and perhaps grown up a little. For one, I can't get fewer parking tickets: in an e-mail from the Department of Public Safety, I was recently informed that after having committed 10 violations this fall, I have officially lost my parking privileges for the remainder of the year. While it's certainly not a step in the right direction, at least I can (finally) cross something off of my list, and this gives me boundless hope.

I know I'm not the only one keeping these lists. I can't be, with all of the Type-A Middlebury students who crowd the library on any given night of the week, staring intensely at their opened (or, often in my case, closed) books and hoping to embed in their brains the precious bits of information that will inevitably wind up on the final exam. I also refuse to believe that I am the only one failing to complete most of the tasks on my list. I know for a fact that while my peers are unquestionably diligent students, we all seem to share an irresistible desire to procrastinate on virtually any type of assignment. We convince ourselves that we will pull all-nighters, or get up at the crack of dawn, or forgo all social interactions for the next few days so that we can just get this one assignment done, but these decisions often don't come to fruition and are instead abandoned in favor of the Grille, a nap, or - when I am really desperate not to do work - the gym.

The message of this column is convoluted, but I have limited experience writing "Notes from the Desk" and though I made a list (of course) of all the points I wished to address, I am nearing the finish line of these notes with nary a burning revelation in sight - and my astute observations still have yet to make the leap from my notepad to this page.

I suppose the point I am attempting to convey is that this semester, I am simplifying my goals, and you should too. In these troubled times (no, I'm not talking about the economy, I'm talking about the sad reality that I now must walk to class rather than drive my black listed car), I am inclined to take things as they come, rather than remain chronically preoccupied with the future. I only have one-and-a-half years left until I graduate, and I plan to make the most of that time - which means cutting out those hours of list-making and replacing them with afternoons of online shopping and Gossip Girl. I may even hit up the gym.