op-ed Factcheck the gay experience at Middlebury

Author: Ryan Tauriainen

Last week a gay student wrote a scathing op-ed ("Counter-productive Gaypril event baffles," April 10) to reveal to the campus that (gasp) there was a "gay party" the previous weekend. There were a few mistakes or misinterpretations that I will correct rather quickly. First off, it wasn't a "Gaypril" event (that is, one put on by MOQA) but rather a party that merely took place in April. I admit MOQA members came, but it was not limited to them. The party also wasn't exclusive to just "queers" though, admittedly, the e-mail list was strictly GLBTQ. Part of the e-mail suggested bringing open-minded straight people and there were certainly a good amount of them there.

Here is my real issue - why is there all this talk of self-segregation when it comes to the GLBT community? There are countless parties on this campus, taking place at any moment of the year, in which the partygoers are either all straight or mostly straight. Does anyone ask where all the gay people are at them? I doubt it. There are parties that are either all white or mostly white. Do people wonder why our students of color are missing from them? Maybe, but I still doubt it. As it turns out, a large number of my friends at Middlebury are students of color or international students. At least half of my best friends are Asian. Two of the students whom I live in a Voter Suite with are international students. And I know first hand that there are parties for which the invite list is strictly international with the suggestion to invite interested American students. I'm not an outcast at these parties even though I wasn't on any invite list and am American. I applaud international student parties, and I think they are a lot of fun.

I think it's problematic when we scrutinize functions that are geared toward minorities and never bat an eye towards ones that are for the majority culture. I was constantly frustrated during the creation of the Queer Studies House (QSH) because people kept thinking it was a means to segregate gay students from straight students, when it was anything but that. As it turns out, only two of the students living in the QSH next year identify as "gay." When gay students come here, there are many different sentiments. In some cases they have been alienated or victimized while in high school. Some students can only be "out" at Middlebury and never to their parents. Some gay students come from countries in which homosexuality is punishable by prison time or even death. We forget about these students all the time when we talk about how easy it is to be "out" here.

These students need a community and I try to provide it for them. That is the purpose of MOQA, and that has been my purpose as a student leader on this campus. It has been my constant goal to create the most accepting environment possible for those students who look at their four years at Middlebury as the only time in their life in which they will be able to be openly queer. Many people fail to realize what these few years represent to some of our students because they sit on a place of privilege, whether in sex, race, class, orientation or citizenship.

Middlebury might be a liberal place, but it can still be hard to feel comfortable for some of my members. Sometimes the open-minded students come on too strong. I know same-sex couples on campus who are completely out but feel awkward dancing together at dances because they are constantly stared at. Sometimes the onlookers give strange looks, but mostly the onlookers are full of smiles, interrupting their dance to pat them on the back and say things like "good for you!"

As great as that is, being under scrutiny, whether positive or negative, can be uncomfortable. We don't want to be on display and we don't want to have to defend ourselves. We just want to live our lives normally - to dance with our partners without the stares, to meet other queer people for the chance of a relationship and to be comfortable in a crowd. And once a year, because there are different comfort levels concerning "outness," these parties are populated by a queer majority. If trying to offer that to my community, just once, is wrong then so be it. I refuse to give the queer community any less and I will not step down from these issues even in my last two months as president of MOQA, no matter what a columnist (gay or straight) writes.

Ryan Tauriainen '08 is from Grant Pass, Ore.