Overseas Briefing

by Peter Hirsch '12

When I am at home over the summer I always dread going to the grocery store. This is not because of some sort of phobia of produce, but rather a strong want not to run into any of my high school classmates that I have not seen since graduation. It is not that I do not like these people; it’s just the required conversation that follows that I really do not enjoy. It’s quite possibly some of the most painful small talk I can imagine.

I have been in Denmark since mid-August and have had the pleasure to experience a little of the Danish lifestyle. Here in Denmark that conversation of pleasantries and empty questions with a former classmate would not happen. This is not because the Danes are impolite, but rather overly sincere. The Danish mentality is this: why speak or use any words if you do not mean them? To me, this sentiment is remarkable. When I am walking the streets of Copenhagen and bump into a fellow classmate I say hello and ask how they are doing. This is not because I really care a whole lot about their life, but the question is a product of my American upbringing. The Danes, on passing an acquaintance on the street, would say hello, but nothing further. This is because one only asks how the other is doing if the question is truly sincere. If I were to ask a Dane in the grocery store how he or she is doing, I should expect at least a five minute conversation about his or her life. Words are not wasted in Denmark, which is something that I am truly taking to heart.

Traveling on the bus, train, or metro, the passengers don’t shout on their cell phones or really talk much at all. All speech is kept to a soft tone, not whispering, but speaking just loud enough so that your words can be heard. At Middlebury, I can recall multiple times when I felt a need to call someone while I was walking between classes. It was as though I could not let myself be entirely alone, and must always be connected to another in some form. This does not exist in Denmark. The cell phone is used to communicate with whom you need, or play Tetris or Bejeweled. The Danes enjoy the time they have disconnected from their family and peers. The half hour into and out of the city is a time to rest one’s mind and appreciate whatever form of solitude is possible in the city.

Yet the Danes are remarkably social people. Living in the socialist “Welfare State,” their culture places a huge emphasis on community and family. The Dane’s life is not about his or her individual success, but the success of the community with which he or she identifies. However, while walking the streets of Copenhagen this feeling may be hard to perceive and it may seem like Danes are standoffish. This all relates back to the Danish mentality of small talk. Danes are friendly people, but you get out of them as much as you put in. If you want to get to know a Dane, you are going to have to put in the effort and they will reciprocate. Some would call the Danes private people, but I feel as though they are sincere. Their words and their lives have real meaning to them, so why treat them frivolously? I am looking forward to coming back to the United States in December, but I am going to be sad to say goodbye to the little nuances of Danish society that just make so much sense.