Of all the ways to be romantically involved with someone for less than ten minutes, speed dating is perhaps the most socially acceptable.
Even so, when I discovered that the Student Government Association was hosting a speed-dating event, I was a little bit skeptical as to how it would turn out. In a social scene where the height of romantic sentiment is often expressed through a dance floor make out (apparently the cool kids abbreviate this to “DFMO”) in an Atwater suite, it seemed a little naive to believe that students would choose to spend two hours on a Friday night awkwardly mumbling to each other in a lighted room.
Still, the event intrigued me – partially because of the aforementioned reasons, partially because I obviously had no other plans and partially because I have felt painfully unlovable ever since Erin McDowell rejected me in ninth grade.
So I walked to Coltrane Lounge on Friday night with my laptop in tow, in search of the perfect story, and maybe even some companionship for my own lonely soul.
Ever the polite party guest, I showed up to the event 45 minutes early, where I met Georgia Grace Edwards ’18, the second-term SGA senator who organized the event.
The room had two huge circles of chairs set up to face each other, the idea being that students sit across from each other for a three-minute “date” and then rotate to somebody else, 15 times. Conceptually, it’s a lot like Tinder, only you’re forced to swipe right every time and you don’t look as good because it’s real life.
When I asked Edwards about what made her decide to host a speed-dating event, she mentioned a few different factors.
“The first reason I wanted to do this is because I’ve noticed this feeling on campus where people are feeling lonely a little bit,” she said, before laughing and mentioning that if I’ve been on Yik Yak at all this semester I will know what she is talking about.
Edwards went on to talk about the hookup culture here on campus and how she feels events like this one can help to provide students with a different environment to meet new people.
“I really am passionate about people and my favorite events are campus are the ones where it’s a lot of discussion between people,” she said. “My vision is for this to provide an alternate space for people to meet that’s not just an Atwater suite.”
At 8:15 p.m., students began flooding into Coltrane in excited little pockets, the air abuzz with the nervous excitement that comes with not knowing exactly what’s about to happen.
Turnout was high, with over one hundred students in attendance. As more and more people shuffled into the room, chairs had to be set up, scooted back and pushed together in an attempt to accommodate all of these potential lovers.
I stole a seat in the corner, where I spoke to two students, Elizabeth and Laura, about their expectations for the evening.
Laura mentioned that, as a first-year, she hoped to meet some people outside of her commons. When I asked Elizabeth if she hoped the evening would bring some kind of romantic connection she blushed and said, “Well, I do believe in fate.”
By this point, Edwards was standing on a table at the front of the room, ready to get the ball rolling, so I suggested that Elizabeth and Laura find me afterwards so I could get their opinions on how the night went, to which Elizabeth responded coolly, “Do you want me to just give you my number?”
After a quick explanation of how the dating rotation would work, the timer started and we were off.
How was my speed dating experience? A little awkward, to be sure, in part because I had to explain to each person I spoke to why I was writing down what they said on a laptop and in part because Mohammed, the young man seated next to me, was such a smooth talker that when girls had to rotate to me their disappointment was palpable. Still, I was able to talk to over 15 students, and their insights provided a remarkably balanced perception of the Middlebury dating scene.
Except for one, all of the students I spoke to said that they came to the event simply to meet new people.
As Emily, the first of my dates for the evening, put it, “This has gotten a lot of awesome people together who might not otherwise have met each other.”
Even though most students didn’t come to speed dating with the intent of seriously dating someone, I felt that I had responsibility as a journalist to question them about their romantic lives. Out of the 15 students I asked, 11 said that they would be interested in seriously dating someone here at Middlebury, but most of them took a little prodding to admit it, usually saying something along the lines of “Well, I mean, I’m not looking for anything, but if, like, I randomly meet the most perfect person in the world than I wouldn’t, like, not date them.”
After eventually admitting that she wouldn’t mind dating someone here at the College, Kate, another one of my dates, stated, “Most people really do want a relationship, they just don’t want to call it a relationship.”
When asked about hookup culture, the general consensus seemed to be that students felt a little bit threatened by the inherent expectation involved. Though nobody felt that total monogamous commitment was necessary to college life, most people were grateful that events like this one gave them a chance to meet people in a safe setting.
As Olivia, one student I spoke to, put it, “This event is nice because all of the lights are on and it’s not sketchy. It’s nice because it’s not Atwater.”
When the event ended at 9:15 p.m., students continued to happily linger, chatting and exchanging numbers and speculating as to whether or not Felly’s show would actually be protested later that night.
Edwards addressed the crowd one last time, making it clear that she hoped to make speed dating a regular occurrence and asking them to please let her know if they had any feedback for future events. (Contact her at gedwards@middlebury.edu if you have any questions or potential ideas). After noting the impressive turnout, Edwards ended the evening with a quick word of closure.
“Feel free to hang out,” she said warmly, “I hope you found friends, baes or whatever else you were looking for.”
