The ultimate pass/fail

When was the last time you used the word “awkward?” Was it to describe the time that random guy sat next to you in Proctor who started inquiring about the origins of your last name? Or was it when that other guy gave you a folded piece of paper in the lunch line and made enough muffled noises to convey that he wanted to go out with you? Regardless of the reason, I bet you remember the last time you dropped the awk-bomb, and I have a good feeling it was in the past 10 minutes.

I have found that “awkward” is maybe the most versatile and heavily used word in the English language, trumped only by a certain expletive. It can describe any situation or person that we decide is “not quite right,” in a silly, annoying, funny, mean or weird way. It is stupid to try to define it (screw dictionaries), but I’m going to try anyway:

Awkward: (adj) considerably less smooth than desired.

With a little interpretation, this definition can be applied to any person or situation deemed appropriate.

Middlebury is the perfect breeding ground for awkwardness. We live in close quarters on a small campus and probably see at least half of the student body in one day. Aside from that, we are a bunch of weirdos who probably spent much more time getting into Middlebury than hanging out with our mad cool high school friends. The Campus’s lovely Managing Editor,????, puts it very well: “Middlebury is just a collection of 2500 awkward people.” And I hate to break it to you all, but its true. We are all awkward.

OK, maybe not everybody all the time, but everyone who causes situations similar to those discussed earlier certainly has the awkward gene. While you may not have been the person forming sentences as skillfully as a concussed baboon, if you used the word “awkward” to describe the situation afterwards, you probably had something to do with it. The point is, awkwardness is mutual.

Take, for example, the Pass. Everyone, every day (unless you’re one of those damn people who has Friday off and can sleep all day) has to walk past and make eye contact with someone else going the opposite direction. This is an issue for me (though I’m sure others can relate) when I’ve only talked to the person a couple times or seen them around. Do I say hi? They might not remember me. Do I wave? That’s stupid, they’re ten feet away. Do I wink? Stop doing shrooms, Ben. Or I could just pretend I didn’t see them. However awkward these choices are, the true awkwardness of the situation comes from the other person going through the same thought process. We both brace ourselves for awkwardness and we are often rewarded with one enthusiastic wave and one cold shoulder. The mutual expectation of awkwardness is all that’s needed to create it and if either of you do not think it’s awkward, it isn’t.

Even more important, though, than being aware of awkwardness is realizing that it is not that bad. In fact, it’s hilarious. Think about it, when you run off and share your latest awkward encounter with your friends, are you laughing or scarred for life? Bad awkwardness does exist and falls in a separate category, but usually its pretty darn funny. So if random Proctor guy from paragraph one starts asking about your family ancestry, skip the awkward “uhhhhhh…”. Just appreciate the silliness of the situation, laugh it off, and get that guy a freaking beer.