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Friday, Apr 19, 2024

"You Don't Like Being Second, I Don't Like Being Wrong."

The job hunt. I have begun to wonder if the anxiety that surrounds finding a job is less about being employed and more about our egos. Selling ourselves to employers may require as much boasting and resume-padding as we can muster without giving ourselves away, but its not illogical assume that as we work our butts off trying to manipulate potential employers, something serious occurs to our psyche. We wonder exactly how much of what we say is true and how much is the pomp we’ve been told is necessary to spew to put us on the A-list. And, when that rejection letter comes in, it’s safe to say that on numerous occasions, the pain that follows does not come from woe that we’ve been denied our dream job and the bright, shiny future we imagined. For most of us, the job search involves casting the net as wide as it goes and hoping we catch something, anything, really. No, the pain is a result of a sharp kick to the ego, a tiny ink scrawl that says, “Sorry champ — try again next time, because you’re just not good enough.” What’s surprising is that part of us believes them.

And the source of the stress is not isolated to potential employers. Many of us have experienced that gut-wrenching feeling when we hear about another fellow student who has lined up the next however-many-years of his life at a hedge fund or law office, or who has received a grant or fellowship of some sort to study the effects of sun exposure on orphans in Venezuela, or some equally noble cause. You think to yourself, “why don’t I have a job yet?” And, horror of horrors, “what if I’m forced to work in the service industry … I don’t even have the experiential learning to be hired in the service industry … and guaranteed they’ll have never heard of Middlebury! What was it all for??”

All I can say is stop worrying and don’t start searching on Google for bartending internships (as if one existed).

It’s a wonder, given the amount of praise and validation we receive on a (semi) regular basis, that we are so easily affected by these rejections. Whether it’s personal or business, it’s a reality — getting a job can be tough. And it’s not because you’re not qualified, or intelligent or because each and every student at the College surpasses you as a desirable job candidate.

The fact of the matter is, despite admittance to a top-rate school and the various achievements and experiences each of us inevitably claims as his or her own by senior year, we do not fully believe in our own abilities. We allow others’ successes to diminish our own personal value. We internalize words of rejection from those whose knowledge of us consists of a few scraps of paper and a five-minute conversation, and allow them to shape our sense of self-worth.

And, while I am a proponent of experiential learning (despite my earlier jibe) and its ability to enhance our education, I fear at times that our rush to fill our resume with internships and “experiences” is another sign of our insecurity; we no longer feel that the ability to think critically and write well, the keystones of liberal arts education, is enough.

I do not know from where these insecurities arise. Perhaps it is the nature of the College’s desire for all of us to succeed as much as possible, that many of us were able to avoid failures of this sort up until now. In that sense, it is important to realize that the real world does not owe us anything simply because we received a higher education. For those who only sought superficial letter-grade successes and other achievements that when viewed from a holistic perspective on life, mean very little, this should be a lesson in the true worth of higher education. A sterling transcript means little if it was done by skirting corners and compromising a full and rich education, because the stamp of a higher education does not ensure anything post-graduation.

This is not meant to be a lecture. It is meant to be a wake-up call. Failure is a viable option and an inevitability for all of us at some point in life, and when it occurs, most specifically where the job search is concerned, it will do wonders for your psyche to brush it off and remember your worth. We’ve all got something great to offer. Middlebury knew that when they accepted us, and we should never let ourselves forget it.


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