Eliza Wallace


Advice Column, Volume Two: The Poker Game of Life

This is what you go through, the thumbing through the hand of cards to see what you’ve got and what you can do with your hand.

Advice Column, Volume I

Guess what? Advice columns are stupid, but Holy Guac, people of my ilk can’t seem to get enough of them.  There are some decent ones[…]

Public Nudity and Your Mom’s Vagina

Joanna Rothkopf ’12 wrote a dank column near the end of her time here, which I guess you could call a “feminist column” (squirm) called[…]

Potential Sources of Renewable Energy

Automatic Problematic This professor’s eyeballs are about to pop out of her head in front of this surly discussion section.  She wants you to find[…]

How to be a Flake

I’m sorry, I totally spaced out can you say that again?  Something about your dying pet?  Someone is having a birthday party?  I wasn’t listening. […]

Superstitious Kidiots

Hey kidiots!  Does that start us out on the wrong foot?  These days I’ve been feeling like my social filter is made out of Swiss[…]

Babies Making Babies

Fun facts about my oral contraceptive use: •  The reminder to take my birth control pill (a chewable, generic brand that sounds like the scientific[…]

Alpenglow Performs Alongside Installation

I’ve been following Alpenglow since I saw their first concert in January 2011 – before they even had their name – in the artfully decorated[…]

WRMC Answers Demands for Concerts

If I could write a devotional power ballad to the WRMC Concert Committee, I would. Aaron Slater ’16 and Arnav Adhikari ’16 are a dynamic,[…]

Mad Libbed

Was my last article a little too Eat Pray Love-y?  I feel like my last article was a little too Eat Pray Love-y. I hope[…]

The Best-Laid Plans

Some things I did over winter break: yoga, Catholic mass with my grandmother, an ex-dudefriend. My New Year’s resolution for last year was “be not[…]

The Lost Vocation?

Religious vocations used to be a big deal at this school. At the beginning of the 1800s, the majority of Middlebury graduates became ministers, who[…]


For many students of the liberal arts elite, undergraduate existence is an era of unchecked decadence. You can eat a packet of peanut M&M’s and[…]

My Little Coming-of-Age World View

This summer, I went a little Bible-crazy.  It’s fine, you guys. I’m fine.  I had no conversion experiences, no brush-with-death leaps of faith, no immaculate[…]